loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
