If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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