I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
