dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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