I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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