If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
