Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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