Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
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The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
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sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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