I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
how drunk are you?
Several
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
