who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
