If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
