I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
