Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
