You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
