She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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