you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize