Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
