the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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