what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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