I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
God, I missed his penis.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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