His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
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I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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