i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
