In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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