The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
