I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
