Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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