I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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