I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize