K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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