Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
