why do cheetos always look like penises
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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