just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Farmville is her only friend.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize