The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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