She went from zero to smokin in five shots
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
