It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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