Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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