are you still at the devil's house?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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