Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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