You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
