What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
