If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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