I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oh god it's open bar.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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