today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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