arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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