I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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