I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
