What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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