Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
