i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize