i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
