it was like his penis was on wheels.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
