I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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