they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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