What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Someone shattered a urinal.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
