spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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