...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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