Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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