Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
