fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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