How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
