I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
