i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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