I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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