Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh god it's open bar.