Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.

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  (313): mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved. http://tfl.nu/u6ef
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (489)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.

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  (828): can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later. (919): wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here! (828): i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa. http://tfl.nu/e72d
  Replies (2) Good night (923) Bad night (806)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.

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  (248): i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid. http://tfl.nu/3rci
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (475)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up

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  (617): you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up http://tfl.nu/71wz
  Replies (14) Good night (4861) Bad night (771)
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  (315): View more from New York

  idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.

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  (315): idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever. http://tfl.nu/p80i
  Replies (11) Good night (8635) Bad night (1012)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.

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  (956): Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs. http://tfl.nu/dv3c
  Replies (41) Good night (7147) Bad night (1009)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just found puke in my bra..

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  (304): I just found puke in my bra.. http://tfl.nu/wu5c
  Replies (17) Good night (834) Bad night (5641)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...

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  (414): Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes... http://tfl.nu/m3ok
  Replies (11) Good night (717) Bad night (4558)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes

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  (586): Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes http://tfl.nu/g7it
  Replies (3) Good night (2012) Bad night (852)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.

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  (702): We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9xyn
  Replies (13) Good night (786) Bad night (2330)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season

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  (860): I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season http://tfl.nu/sdcu
  Replies (6) Good night (1741) Bad night (736)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?

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  (410): There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him? http://tfl.nu/lo67
  Replies (20) Good night (638) Bad night (939)
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  (310): View more from California

  If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay

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  (310): If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay http://tfl.nu/sayw
  Replies (10) Good night (1356) Bad night (556)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.

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  (734): I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first. http://tfl.nu/6gn4
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (241)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me

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  (731): He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me http://tfl.nu/hoyn
  Replies (6) Good night (886) Bad night (233)

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