Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
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I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
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Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.