I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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