it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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