i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
