is your mom at the bar?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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