Im at strip club and am horny
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion