Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006

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(312): Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006 http://tfl.nu/3jq0

Replies (4) Good night (1138) Bad night (753)
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(559): View more from California

I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.

(1-559): View more from California

Yup.

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(559): I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again. (1-559): Yup. http://tfl.nu/egb3

Replies (20) Good night (1175) Bad night (2505)
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(210): View more from Texas

cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens

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(210): cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens http://tfl.nu/njf7

Replies (49) Good night (577) Bad night (3359)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.

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(785): Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen. http://tfl.nu/ucck

Replies (14) Good night (4619) Bad night (1438)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.

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(252): just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far. http://tfl.nu/f1u5

Replies (20) Good night (4109) Bad night (797)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."

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(248): Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting." http://tfl.nu/6v74

Replies (6) Good night (4611) Bad night (1411)
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(850): View more from Florida

I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.

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(850): I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again. http://tfl.nu/731o

Replies (10) Good night (1001) Bad night (1507)
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(248): View more from Michigan

THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?

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(248): THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday? http://tfl.nu/raf6

Replies (14) Good night (1991) Bad night (987)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about

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(505): Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about http://tfl.nu/ldbx

Replies (5) Good night (1204) Bad night (594)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?

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(843): New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard. (321): Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman? http://tfl.nu/4ln7

Replies (6) Good night (731) Bad night (1695)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

Aren't they always?

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(610): My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit" (1-610): Aren't they always? http://tfl.nu/6oqg

Replies (1) Good night (1605) Bad night (719)
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(540): View more from Virginia

You'll get a boner for sure

(703): View more from Virginia

Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey

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(540): You'll get a boner for sure (703): Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey http://tfl.nu/k43v

Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (485)
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(315): View more from New York

A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos

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(315): A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos http://tfl.nu/8sxj

Replies (7) Good night (1940) Bad night (563)
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(830): View more from Texas

I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.

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(830): I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic. http://tfl.nu/ur90

Replies (2) Good night (362) Bad night (754)
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(509): View more from Washington

You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?

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(509): You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you? http://tfl.nu/3xdc

Replies (8) Good night (376) Bad night (1152)

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