we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
