so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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