i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
