He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just cropdusted the office
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We're using joints as your birthday candles
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
